Trying

As I am beginning this post I am trying my best to remember's Lesley's words of wisdom not to be so hard on myself. But I just can't help it.

Thursday was a good day. I don't remember everything that I ate but I know it was good and its logged in myfitnesspal. Thursday night's workout: Max Interval Circuit was about 10% less crazy than Max Interval Plyo. The 60 minute thing is killing me.

Friday morning I decided to treat myself with an egg sandwich and iced coffee. The deli by work didn't have any wraps, so I had to get whole wheat bread, egg whites, and swiss. Pretty healthy but it was greasy and I ate it anyway.

It was my planning day at work, and I didn't bring lunch, so I ate an Amy's frozen "light and lean" vegan meal and snacked my way through the day with:
-Green grapes
-Hummus chips
-Baby carrots
-Hummus

Driving home, I started to get a headache, and by the time I got home it was stronger. Marvin and I lied around and before I knew it, it was 7:30 and time to leave for our wine tasting. Here's what I think about that:
1) If I could go to a wine tasting I could have done Insanity. My head didnt hurt THAT much, clearly, or I would have wanted to stay in and not drink wine.
2) I never really decided that I wasn't going to work out. I was kind of waiting for Marvin to say "C'mon babe you should do it" or "let's do it together if you're feeling tired" but that's not fair for me to wait for him to say something.
3) Even though I was secretly wishing for Marvin to say "I'll do it with you" I kind of wanted him to leave the apartment and let me do it myself. These new workouts are really difficult for me, and I look like a fool trying to do some of the exercises. Plus, I am back to sweating like crazy and I just didn't really want us BOTH to be in the same 10x10 ft square space during the workout.

So, we went across the street to my favorite wine store's free tasting event and I drank A LOT of wine. I also had some cheese and crackers. Then we went to this new Turkish BYOB spot: Agora. I'm happy to say that I chose probably the healthiest thing on the menu: Char grilled sea bass with salad and lentil rice. I am unhappy to say that we got hummus and pita and I had about 5 pieces of warm delicious bread.

Last night, I could barely sleep. All I kept thinking about was how I didn't workout, I didn't have a great day of eating, and I drank a ton of wine. I also knew I wasn't going to workout this morning... we are heading out to LI around 11:30 and there was just no way I was waking up at 9, hungover, to do intense exercise. I know today will be another difficult day for eating and drinking when we go to Marvin's brother's house for the party.

Of course I weighed myself and I am somehow one pound heavier than yesterday. I really need to "get rid of my scale" like Lesley says, but I feel like it keeps me from being disillusioned that without healthy eating and regular exercise I will still lose weight.