I cannot WAIT for 2015!!!! But before we go on to the next, here are some special moments from this past year:
January
Having Marvin's family over to our apartment for the first time for Marvin's birthday, and everyone meeting!
February
Weekend trip to DC to see my college roommates, and get a private tour of the White House
March
This was a big month... Our engagement!!! And the amazing birthday/engagement weekend that followed.
April
Nothing momentous this month... but lots of wedding venue research, and an amazingly relaxing Spring Break in Brooklyn
May
Marvin graduated with his MBA from Molloy! I was so proud of him. We also got a new camera, booked our venue, and two of my best friends and now bridesmaids (Ava & Jackie) had their babies!
June
Ummm, nothing too momentous here either. School ended! I started my first summer break in Brooklyn.
July
We had our engagement BBQ and got to celebrate with all of our family and friends
August
Two out-of-town weddings (Katie's in Portsmouth, Maine & Betsy's in Newburyport, MA) and my sister's HS graduation party.
September
Ok. So much of my year was marked by wedding planning accomplishments, HA! We booked our DJ, photographer, AND honeymoon. Lots of big ones checked off the list.
October
I said yes to the dress!! Chose bridesmaid dresses, celebrated our 2nd Halloween on the stoop, and participated in the Out of the Darkness Walk for the first time.
November
My second favorite holiday, Thanksgiving... lots of cooking, amazing food, and spending time with my new little cousin Vivian
December
Just wrapped up my first favorite holiday and had one of the best this year with lots of quality family and Marvin time.
Its funny. Aside from wedding planning related things, lots of my "most special memories" really centered around others' special events or celebrations. Weddings, graduations, birthdays. So how do we measure a year? By the accomplishments of the ones we love? The time we spend surrounded by family and friends? Or the personal achievements of goals we set for ourselves?
I guess for me, its all of that and then some.
The pure looks of joy on my friend's faces as they walk down the aisle, or stare into the eyes of their newborn. The sounds of my family, new and old, laughing and sharing stories (sometimes the same ones over and over) across tables filled with home-cooked food. The scent of my sisters' hair when they lean on my shoulder. The sighs of relief when a difficult moment has passed. The tears over shared grief, the comfort in moving on, helping, being helped. The tiny hands of new additions to family and friends. The excited anticipation over upcoming endeavors, the bittersweet satisfaction when they end.
Marvin. His open-mouthed smile, his eyelashes resting on his cheek, his hand covering mine. His neck, stretching over a crowd, locking eyes with my own, reminding me: I am here. The word forever; inviting, exhilarating, comforting... a soft blanket I can finally tuck myself into.
And, yet. As I begin to end this post, the gray clouds open and spew snowflakes frantically. I pause and lift my eyes to the window, watch. Less than a minute passes, the snowflakes recede, the sun peeks from between the leaves. What is it that the universe is reminding to remember?
My Grandma.
Should we measure our years by loss? I think, yes. Loss becomes part of who we are by defining how we move on. This year I kissed my grandmother's cheek for the last time. I miss her every day. But I know she has left her mark on me, and will therefore leave her mark on generations to come. So don't worry Grandma, I didn't forget about you. I just know you will continue to live on in 2015, and the year after that, and after that, and so on...
