As you tiptoe to crane your neck over the edge of the barricade, squinting to view the runners approaching, who would ever imagine, even for a split second, a bomb exploding behind them?
How can we all put this behind us? Should we?
My mom always said that I became so severely affected by other people's problems because I project everything onto myself. What if I have that rare skin disease I saw on TV? What if MY grandma/grandpa gets cancer too? What if MY apartment gets broken into? What if I was at the marathon last Monday? My sister? My friends?
Its not only that though. I have a big heart. The empathy I feel for other people guides my whole life. How I interact with people, the kind of jokes I make or don't make, my relationship, my career. I just can't stop asking myself how this possibly happened? How can someone care so little about the lives of other people? How can I stop forgetting how those directly impacted must have felt?
I know time heals everything but for now, I still feel it. And I'm not sure that's such a bad thing.
* * *
Overall, this week has been kind of on and off with exercise and eating. Monday & Tuesday were great with eating and exercising. Wednesday I skipped the workout and sort of went off the wagon with eating... also went out for food and drinks on Wednesday. Thursday was OK with eating but I got about halfway through Insanity and felt extremely sick. Friday I skipped again because I went out for drinks and food straight from work.
Saturday I made the executive decision to go back to Month 1 workouts. I have been having a REALLY hard time with the Month 2 workouts. I'm finding myself dreading the workouts in the car ride home from school, as opposed to feeling reluctant, but pumped. During the workouts, I am really struggling to complete a set and even get through some of the exercises. I feel dead at the end as opposed to rejuvenated. On Saturday I went back to a Month 1 workout and it was great. It was still REALLY hard but I felt a lot more successful and was even able to push myself with some of the moves. I emailed my coach and he said a lot of people choose to do Month 1 2x, making the program 90 days as opposed to 60. At this point the program's going to be like 200 days anyway, because I'm messing with the schedule so much.
Last night I went out to dinner at the Jolly Fisherman Steakhouse. I was so proud of myself for ordering grilled salmon with double veg, and only eating half. I did snack on some apps, but everyone else got huge platters of fried fish, stuffed lobsters, twice baked potatoes, etc. I treated myself to their famous banana cream pie, and I'm so happy I did.
Saturday night Marvin and I made roti! Well, we didn't actually MAKE the roti but we made the filling. Roti is sort of like a caribbean wrap. You can get chicken roti, veggie roti, goat roti, etc... but they just call it "roti." The roti itself is kind of like a mix between a pita, tortilla, and naan. With Marvin's guidance, we made up our own recipe. It was sooooo good and healthy too!
Ingredients
Roti Shells (I bought these wraps called Lavash. They worked perfectly)
Roti filling
-1 package of chicken thighs (4, bone-in)
-1/2 onion, chopped
-3 garlic gloves, chopped
-1 potato, peeled & chopped
-Red curry powder (about 1.5 tablespoon)
-Chili powder (about 1 tablespoon)
-Thyme (about 1 teaspoon)
-Salt (about 1 teaspoon)
-Pepper (about 1 teaspoon)
-Vegetable oil (about 1 tablespoon)
-Water (about 1 cup)
Directions
-Clean chicken thighs (breasts will work too but thighs are tastier!). Season both sides of chicken heavily with salt, pepper, thyme & chili powder
-Heat oil in a large saucepan. Add onions & garlic until soft
-Add chicken. Cook on each side for 5-7 min
-Add curry powder. Anywhere from 1-2 tblspoon will work
-Cook for 10 minutes
-Add potatoes & some more seasoning
-Cook for 2-3 minutes
-Add 1/2-2 cup of water, depending on how thick you want the sauce
-When it comes to a boil, lower to simmer and cover for up to one hour. Check chicken and stir occasionally. It should come off the bone easily when its done
-Scrape chicken off the bones with a fork. Remove bones
-Scoop into center of roti, roll up, and eat!
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